1. |
Thank You for Sharing
04:32
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your sweetie says what turns him on
is you dressing up as a pokemon
and though you said your love is true
you won’t dress up as Pikachu
but before you yell ‚ewww‘ and toss them out
there’s one thing you should think about
your partner has a kink
and that’s ok
because you can’t drink
or pray that kink away
if you kick them out
because you say ‚Fuck that‘
you may end up with a secretive
necrophiliac
you may not be into nylon stockings in the same way as they are
but humoring them once in a while can take you far
and remember they might then do the same for you too
by pretending they love Star Wars as much as you do
(but we are not doing the Han and Chewie
thing again, seriously, that was one very special Christmas)
your partner has a kink
and they are brave
cause lots o people think
they’d rather take it to their grave
why not try not to shame them
and break down the stigma
when your loved one admits they like
playing with smegma
but if their sharing breakthrough
just isn’t what you’re into
and you just really can’t then that’s ok
not everybody can be into horseplay.
thank them for sharing
show them that you’re caring
and suggest they find someone who’s into that
heck even if they’re kink is illegal
it’s not illegal to play pretend
just cause their kink is weird doesn’t mean the relationship has to end
there’s fetishes for high heels, ballooning, even being into clowns
wrestling like snakes, farting on cakes, being tickled while hanging upside down
there are Furries, there are Bronies, which are boys who want to be ponies
there are people into wood, I really didn’t know you could
there are people into pain, there are people into restraints
into pegging, egging, bed wetting, leggings, heck some are into weddings,
into feathers, into leathers and a sexy rewatching of Heathers
into Milfs and Dilfs and Gilfs or pretending they’re your sister
into teachers and librarians or always calling you Mister
playing ancient aliens or being Gilmore Girls
there really isn’t anything that’s not sexy to someone in this world
and you never know
it might turn out
that their kink is the very thing you dream about
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2. |
Fuck First
02:46
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Valentines day had me feeling sad
it wasn’t that I was single or my boyfriend was bad
he took me out to dinner was as sweet as can be
but then instead of making love he feel asleep on top of me
that’s why you fuck
before you eat my dears
lean over to your sweethearts
and whisper in their ears:
I’m gonna take you out to a really swanky place
but first I’d ask you kindly to sit upon my face
that’s why you fuck
before you eat my friends
because the meal is where the libido ends
you have sex and then a meal
have some cock and then some veal
go have some fellatio
and then have a sweet potato
if the meal was too enormous
you might miss out on that clitoris
and cunnilingus sucks
when you’re fighting acid reflux
that’s why you fuck
before you eat my dears
lean over to your sweethearts
and whisper in their ears:
I’m gonna feed you honeyed fruit dipped in mascarpone
but first I’m gonna strip you down and ride you like a pony
that’s why you fuck
before you eat my friends
you don’t want dinner to be where your Valentines day ends
but no matter what you've planned
before you go out hand in hand
no matter if its movies paintball waltzing or a dinner
be sure to first take care of the vagina and the wiener
if you're planning to go rollerblading or TP-ing your ex
first get on the bed or sofa or the table and have sex
it should be the first thing on your mind
before you leave the house
be it with your boyfriend girlfriend lover polycule or spouse
even if it's just you by yourself
happily masturbate and say
we wish you all a very happy Valentine's day
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3. |
Perks of Religion
03:25
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There’s a man/ he’s a good man
he’s got great sense of humor and he’s really good with kids
there’s another man/ he’s a good man, too
he’s not so good with kids
but the sex is really great
they both would like t have me as their wife
but they both want to be the only person in my life
I don’t know how I could choose just one
if that would mean that I would loose the other one
Oh I wish I was a Southern Mormon Bigamist
not one, not two, but three names on my wedding registry list
I wish I was a Southern Bigamist Mormon
turn around and see two loving faces in the morning
There’s a woman/ She’s a good woman
she likes to cook and listen and she always understands
there’s another woman/ she’s a hot woman
she’s wild and crazy and she does amazing things with her hand
I asked them both if they could be my steady
they looked at me and said ‚kid, you’re not ready‘
and I guess that from their point of view they’re right
Cause I’d really like to have them over together for the night
Oh I wish I was a Southern Mormon Bigamist
but that’d be tricky cause I am an atheist
I’d go for polygamist Polynesian
or polyandrous Nepalesian
some people say to me that I am greedy
I’m selfish, narcissistic and I’m needy
but I don’t think I’m a whore/ just cause I want more
cause if there’s one thing better than two breasts in your face
well then it’s four
it’s a lot of work/ it can make you go berserk
but it can work I hope and hey,
it’ll piss off the pope
so I guess I’ll be a Berlin polyamorist
a multiple people cuddling anarchist
and if you would like to be one too
talk to us after the show and we’ll see what we can do!
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4. |
Even the Cutest Kittens
03:20
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Marc: I had a date last night
Naomi: well we have an open relationship so that's all right
Marc: so we went home... sorry I... didn't send a text
Naomi: no worries hey I trust you just tell me what happened next
Marc: well we had sex, didn't make it to bed, did it on the stairs
Naomi: wait I think you skipped over a little part back there
Naomi: the part where you ask about their sexual history
Marc: I kind of like it when there's a lit bit of mystereeeeee
Naomi: they told you bout the birds n bees
but didn't talk to you about STD's
but like my mom always says
even the cutest kittens have fleas
Marc: I didn't want to kill the mood and be
"Hey do you get tested regularly?"
you're overdoing it with your paranoia
a little chlamydia won't destroy ya
Naomi: you might wanna be a lot more persistant
chlamydia's getting antibiotic resistant
and girls have higher chances of getting infected
so better think twice before you injected...
Marc: I had a raincoat on so where is the big risk?
Naomi: There's also oral infection with things like Syphiliiiiis
before you get down to oralize
see to it that you verbalize
Because, and even your mom agrees
even the cutest kittens have fleas
Always talk to your lovers please
even the cutest kittens have fleas
before you get down on ur knees
even the cutest kittens have fleas
everybody sing with me
even the cutest kittens have fleas
everbody sing with me
even the cutest kittens have fleas
everybody sing with us
even the cute.....st kittens have fleas
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STICKY BISCUITS Berlin, Germany
Sticky Biscuits from Berlin sing, blip, hoot and occasionally howl about the naughty and nerdy, the raunch and the rocket science, the kinky and the kitchen sink.
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