THE SAD REASONS PEOPLE GO INTO PARTICLE PHYSICS

by STICKY BISCUITS

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Vince Hamilton
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Vince Hamilton I love songs that would make my mom wince, while I smile broadly. Favorite track: Sock Puppet.
1337priest
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1337priest The whole album is just so great! The instrumental choices are really out of the ordinary, yet surprisingly amazing. The lyrics are witty and fun! Overall, the whole album is very enjoyable. Favorite track: The Perks of Religion.
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1.
At first it hurt, When I found you were common as dirt I thought you were one of a kind Only to find there is one in a million Of you Please don't let it be true How am I supposed to keep an eye on you, ungoogleable you Now that we're broken up? You seemed so irreplaceable but turned out unmyspaceable the search for your name came up with six thousand four hundred eighty seven of the same you're a schoolkid in Alaska, you're a laywer in Nebraska, you're a DJ of AM rock, you're a fanboy that I had to block, you're a Christian Metal Band, Your're a vet with a prosthetic hand, a backup dancer for Mc Hammer, you're a Nigerian email scammer I couldn't find you anywhere my heart was nearly broken when I friended what turned out to be a rabbi in Hoboken whatever can I do to find Ungoogleable You? I on the other hand am unique Google claims there's only one of me They say I'm rather stalkable Desperately approachable If you should ever feel the need You'll easily find my Twitter feed 140 characters solo! I know I'm the one who set you loose 'cause I could not agree to your terms of use But What can I do? I still miss you I know that We'll never meet outside in the street Wonderful Ungoogleable you
2.
You were the supernova in my life I could see you and me being husband and wife but The expansion of the distance Between you and I was accelerating And I don't know why so I will build a particle collider I'll try To find A new physics To explain Why the strong force Of our attraction Wasn't strong enough to hold Us together Til the end of time I knew that physics wasn't really your thing but I still hoped you would accept my ring but maybe I blew it when I blew up the car I didn't know the laser beam would reach that far And I would like to say that I'm sorry that Miffy didn't survive her turn as Schrodingers cat I guess now we know that as long as the lid stays closed the cat is certainly dead if you don't put in airholes. all i wanted was to See the Look in your eyes as I go up to accept the noble prize I don't know what I did to make the dream shatter but now my heart is filled with dark matter so I will build a particle collider I'll try To find A new physics To explain Why the strong force Of our attraction Wasn't strong enough to hold Us together Til the end of time I will build detectors Sixteen stories high To detect that particle Of time That I missed That made you go The largest machine Ever built Won't bring you back so I will build a particle collider I'll try To find A new physics To explain Why the strong force Of our attraction Wasn't strong enough to hold Us together Til the end of time And if I find A new particle No one has ever seen It might not prove There is a god But it might prove I really was in love.
3.
There’s a man/ he’s a good man he’s got great sense of humor and he’s really good with kids there’s another man/ he’s a good man, too he’s not so good with kids but the sex is really great they both would like t have me as their wife but they both want to be the only person in my life I don’t know how I could choose just one if that would mean that I would loose the other one Oh I wish I was a Southern Mormon Bigamist not one, not two, but three names on my wedding registry list I wish I was a Southern Bigamist Mormon turn around and see two loving faces in the morning There’s a woman/ She’s a good woman she likes to cook and listen and she always understands there’s another woman/ she’s a hot woman she’s wild and crazy and she does amazing things with her hand I asked them both if they could be my steady they looked at me and said ‚kid, you’re not ready‘ and I guess that from their point of view they’re right Cause I’d really like to have them over together for the night Oh I wish I was a Southern Mormon Bigamist but that’d be tricky cause I am an atheist I’d go for polygamist Polynesian or polyandrous Nepalesian some people say to me that I am greedy I’m selfish, narcissistic and I’m needy but I don’t think I’m a whore/ just cause I want more cause if there’s one thing better than two breasts in your face well then it’s four -instrumental- it’s a lot of work/ it can make you go berserk but it can work I hope and hey, it’ll piss off the pope so I guess I’ll be a Berlin polyamorist a multiple people cuddling anarchist and if you would like to be one too talk to us after the show and we’ll see what we can do!
4.
Sock Puppet 02:28
we were on another date it was getting rather late I brought you to your door like so many nights before but as you turned to say goodbye I thought I’d give it one more try and I leaned over and I whispered in your ear, my dear: would you like to be my sock puppet? show me your c*** and let me f****** it? would you let me linger with my palm and all my fingers so deep inside of you? but that’s not what you would let me do you wouldn’t be my sock puppet you told me to buzz off and go shove it so I went home all alone, feeling quite forlorn and stayed up watching porn then a few weeks later you invited me for tea we sat there quite politely with your extended family you never told me that your grandma looked like Helen Mirren I felt something stirrin’ and since you had said no I thought I’d go and give it a go. can you guess what I did? "Mrs. Applebee, would you like to be my sock puppet? would you like to feel my hand up it? even though you’re old and wrinkly I could make your eyes all twinkly if you just let me try -and they say to try it once before you die be my sock puppet like I’m Jim Henson and you’re the muppet! would you let me slide my hand deep inside cause that’s where I like to hide my keys and my wallet and my phone be my sock puppet I’m pretty sure that you’d love it“ and now she can’t get enough of fitting me like a glove my love
5.
Putin likes to ride a horse bare chested but in men he says he's not interested he swears that he's not gay as such methinks he doth protest too much I think Putin would like to be puttin' out. Yeah, without a doubt I think Putin would like to be puttin' out. Putin likes to go to the country side with his manly friends Where he likes to wrestle big animals with his bare hands he's externalizing his shame and he needs someone to blame cause he'd really like to wrestle a different kind of bear Yes, without a doubt I think Putin would like to be puttin' out. Oh Putin, come out now, I know you can don't be gay and keep denying it, that's so Republican Putin, I know your gayness will prevail because who but a gay man would put a pussy riot in jail? These batshit crazy laws you've made up this far make me think of Putin as Darth Vader on his Death Star who can't tell his favorite storm trooper that he'd like it up the pooper and because of that lots of people have to die... ...sooo, without a doubt we'd be much happier and safer if you were out. Because even Putin, you should be allowed to love who you want to cause that's really all we all want to do.
6.
Beige 04:00
riding on the Autobhan you always pass a big motorbus filled with old people to the last seat looking out at us and as I look back up into each wrinkled face I wonder what is up why is it the case that no matter what color their favorite is and I don't mean to be mean at some point they throw out all the red and blue and wear nothing but camel and cream dear old people why beige? when you turn a certain age, why beige? at the next rest stop the bus stopped as well I saw the driver and I asked him, do tell why is it all the rage for people to wear nothing but beige? he said its to the let the angel of death know that they're ready to go he said I am one of the drivers of death and when old folks are ready to breathe their last breath they get our the khakis and tan and every beige woman and man are picked up by the busses and drive to wherever you go when you're no longer alive and that's why I'll always wear black I was born and I'll never go back I'll never war beige and you can't make me and if I don't you can't take me and I could live forever you and I could live forever but one day we'll be the ones who are left cause all our friends are gone and then you and I will put all our dark clothes aside and you will hand me a sweater the color of sand and we'll wait be the side of the road and when the bus comes it will stop I'll kiss you and help you get up and we'll get to our feet we'll get on and we'll take a seat and then we'll say goodbye and with a sigh the bus starts up and rides to where the road meets the sky
7.
I had a crappy time today My Boss has given my job away and Because of all the time I spent watching Internet porn I couldn't pay my Rent (I know that u think I'm wussy But I got herpes on my face again) but U look at me with your soft brown eyes Take my face in ur hands And u Say with a smile That s not the end of the world That s not the end of the world (little darling) That s not the end of the world but the icecaps are melting Oceans are on the rise the Scientists are predicting our certain Demise the Conspiracy theorists are hoarding guns and axes and On top of it I forgot to file my taxes but U look at me with your soft brown eyes Take my face in ur hands And u Say with a smile That s not the end of the world That s not the end of the world (little darling) That s not the end of the world this week has been lousy, there's no use pretending the Water is rising the world is ending the fires have taken the Fruits of our Labour the Zombies are here and they've eaten the neighbors I look at you, your Flesh rotting away you Look at me one brown eye falling away uuhhhh uuhhhhh uuhhh Listen to u and I watch you for a while I love ur Optimism but i think ur in denial So lets Sing it together That s not the end of the world That s not the end of the world (little darling) That s not the end of the world We might have to fact the facts This might be end of the world
8.
Love Ninja 04:22
you walk by and your eyes don't ever notice me it's not fair but you can't care for what you cannot see I must always remain out of sight I must protect you with all my might with the two swords on my back my heart is red my payjamas are black cause I'm a love ninja and I'm out to win ya but you'll never know I'll keep you safe whereever you go I have poison darts that I will throw for you when you were sunbathing by the lake my heart was red and raw I was there but underwater breathing through a straw when that old lady cut in front of you in the supermarket line I chopped up all her shopping in the hopes that you'd be mine cause I'm a ninja of love and I'm hovering above you in the hall my hands jammed into the wall one wrong move and I'll fall for you I'd kill for you actually I did do you remember that kid that called you fat? a throwing star can go quite far the little idiot wasn't expecting that but I wish thre was a way I could say "I love you" besides secretly killing people with my powers some way better like a letter or some flowers but when I got mad that you will never wear my ring I strangled fourteen hipsters with a piece of ninja string cause I'm a love ninja and I'm outside your window on the sixteenth floor sometimes I wish I could just use the dor or show you the poems that I wrote for you like roses are red violets are blue I beat up a trucker with my nunchucks for you or nothing should ever disturb your sweet slumber so I drowned your landlord and strangled the plumber or I'm sorry I decapitated the yuppie I'll make it up, look, I got you a puppy cause I'm a love ninja and I'm out to win ya but you'll never know I'll keep you safe whereever you go
9.
shall I be your 4x4 roaring over snow taking you reliantly wherever you may go shall I be your blanket I'd keep you safe and warm shall I be a handsome plaid shirt dressing up your arm what shall I be whatever shall I be to let you know how much you mean to me shall I be your hands we'd make and we'd create and I'd get to touch your cock when you masturbate your head between somebody's legs shall I be your tongue stick me in somebody's face oh we'd have so much fun what shall I be whatever shall I be to let you know how much you mean to me oh I don't think I shall be your brain because I'm not that smart (oh c'mon) much rather I'd sit in your chest and be your beating heart looking at your socks I don't think I shall be your foot and I shall truly never ever ever be your butt what shall I be whatever shall I be to let you know how much you mean to me

about

Berlin comedy songs duo STICKY BISCUITS do neat, nerdy and naughty tunes about things like the reasons people go into particle science, the impending zombie apocalypse and the sexual proclivities of certain russian leaders.

credits

released July 3, 2014

Songwriting / Vocals / Ukulele / Kalimba / Glockenspiel / Piano: Naomi Fearn
Vocals / Stylophone / Yamaha PS-1 / Casio VL-5 / Melodica / Drums: Marc Seestaedt
Production / E-Guitar / Strings Arrangement / Bass : Frank Böster, www.behindthecouchstudio.com
Cat Snore: Sisko

on 'Put(t)in Out': Accordion: Miss Natasha Enquist www.natashaenquist.com

on 'Ungoogleable You': Production / Bass / Backing Vocals: MF David Deery www.mfdaviddeery.com

This album was crowd financed though www.startnext.de
A huge THANK YOU to our SUPPORTERS : Julia Weitbrecht, Veronika Mischitz, Andrea Hein, Belinde Ruth Stieve, Laurin Dietrich, Daniel S. Lee, Juliette Dufau, Jessie Mottar, Karin Liau, Eike Zaumseil, Summer Banks, Tim Whelan, Paul Salamone, Bianca Schillinger, Rahel Savoldelli, Jonathan O'Reilly, Jonathan Mertz, Pablo Ientile, Klaus Cornfield, Geoff Pinfield, Ryan Van Winkle, Luca Treves, Daniel Fearn, Anna Pesavento, Lena Nitsch, Kinga Hiller, Dagmar Kube-Erhardt, Andrea Schlüter, Bernd Seestaedt, Marion Vican, Alex Upatov, Christiane Lahusen, Maren Vogel, Sydnee Wallich, Eckart Breitschuh, Lesley Dean, Joe Jackson, Carlos Stockhausen, Lucia Hodinka, Tino Truppel and Sarah Burrini

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STICKY BISCUITS Berlin, Germany

Sticky Biscuits from Berlin sing, blip, hoot and occasionally howl about the naughty and nerdy, the raunch and the rocket science, the kinky and the kitchen sink.

Help us make more: www.patreon.com/stickybiscuits

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