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lyrics
You've been Xmas shopping, there was no time for sex
The only ass u'll see this week is ur hometown ex
before you leave there will not even be a final wank
for which you have ur always present roommate to thank
Oh noone's getting off on christmas
noone's getting off, not you or me
We'll sit here with our wacky family
and envy the dog at least he gets to hump the tree
At least ur not alone in ur celibacy
ur mom hasn't gotten off since 1983
your uncle Steve has seen no action since the 90s
which we're all sure is best ... given his proclivities
Oh noone's getting off this christmas
u'll be sleeping blueballed in ur childhood room
ur older brother won't stop talking
bout that one thanksgiving ... where you both had shrooms
There's no exchanging dick pix, ur all alone
becuz ur sisters kids found out how to unlock ur phone, oh...
noone's getting off for christmas
Not ur mom or u or uncle steve
let's not end this terrible year all underfucked
so let's go out to find someone to bonk on New Years Eve
credits
released December 20, 2016
Songwriting, Ukulele, Vocals: Naomi Fearn
Recording, Arrangement, Casio PT-7, Casio VL-1, Stylophone, vocals: Marc Seestaedt
Sticky Biscuits from Berlin sing, blip, hoot and occasionally howl about the naughty and nerdy, the raunch and the rocket science, the kinky and the kitchen sink.
